There Is No Crying in Baseball
Tears and sports are not supposed to go together, especially with boys and men. You can hear coaches on playing fields and gyms around the country yelling, “Suck it up”. I’ve been looking at this issue and trying to determine if there is in fact Crying in Sports, especially with young developing athletes. When I saw Tiger Woods collapse in his Caddie, Steve Williams, arms after winning the 2006 British open, two months after his fathers death. I accepted it and actually allowed myself to also tear up. It’s emotional, it’s touches the heart and it is an acceptable form of crying. Woods said, “I could not stop it, I miss my dad so much”. Woods face was full of raw emotion as he let his face become the window to his soul and the tears the elixir for his pain.
We celebrate with the pro athlete who cries after winning the championship, i.e., Michael Jordan clutching the NBA Larry O’Brien Championship trophy, and crying like a baby, after winning the 1991 NBA title. Tears like these are acceptable and expected. It’s those tears that come after a young player has fallen, or you yelled at them or they simply get frustrated that are not accepted or expected.
What we don’t except, as readily, is having a 9-year start crying because they fell down, or the coach yelled or they just get frustrated. I’ve seen many coaches admonish the player, without taking in account the real emotional state of the player at the time. As a person that runs a youth basketball program there are many times were I am aware of a players emotional state, based on their family situation (parents separating, economic pressures in the family, etc) that may impact their emotional state at any given time. With so many kids coming to organized sports at younger and younger ages, there are more emotions that can’t be expressed and a variety of factors that may go into those tears.
There are times when tears are not the appropriate form of expression, but that is when a coach has to step in and assist the player to be able to express themselves in other ways. Saying, “suck it up”, may not assist the player, but it might retard the player’s development in processing their emotions. There is a general feeling that young boys that cry may not be as tough or masculine as their counterparts.
I am not promoting that coaches purchase stock in Kleenex and become baseline counselors. I am suggesting that you give a little thought to how you approach a young player who might have some tears in his eyes before you give the repetitive retort-There is No Crying In Baseball.